belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
