I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
