dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
