so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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