Where is the hickey?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
