I think I died a long time ago.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
