rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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