Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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