Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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