I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
