are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
