I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
