sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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