Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Randomize
