some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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