Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
