Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
