Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
