Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
