8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
