Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
