just tell him i said nine months
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
no you cant smoke seaweed
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
