I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize