Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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