You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
