So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
