he wants to bone in the snuggie
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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