I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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