Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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