Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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