moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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