why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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