This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
