u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
