I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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