I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
