Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
