I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
