I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
