yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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