twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
