Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
