If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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