Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
