i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
smell my finger.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
