I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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