So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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