just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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