every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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