Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize