Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
