you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
