I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
