Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
