Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
