Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
