He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
