He is an equal opportunity slut.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize