Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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